how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
