Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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