Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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