I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
