btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
