We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
