HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
