Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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