My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
