He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
