69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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