i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
