I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
