i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
