God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Congratulations! We have a period
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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