Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
