theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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