Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
