yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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