Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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