I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
