You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
