I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
