why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
