I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
