everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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