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• (760): View more from California

  My girlfriend figured out who you are.

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• (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Where are you?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  A place I should not be.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

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• (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you went over there?

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.

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