If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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