So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
