He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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