remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
