: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
