I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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