the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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