So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Panties = found
Randomize
