Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We left the knife in your bed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
