I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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