Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
