I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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