You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I AM VODKA MAN
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
