I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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