We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
cat food counts as protein by the way
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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