babies were throwing up all over the place
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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