is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
