Having a random hookup so left but love u
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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