So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
