yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
