party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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