White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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