we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is the high leading the old right now
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
