i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize