Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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