so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's Friday. Sex?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
