One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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