They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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