god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
