WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
