I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
