so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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