I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
