I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize