first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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