Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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