So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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